Pride and Relief

"Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get."

~Dale Carnegie

I've learned that planting bulbs requires extreme patience. Last year, as I planted each tiny bulb with the utmost of care, it hit me that I'd have to wait until Spring to see if I actually completed the task correctly. I'm not always the best with the whole delayed gratification thing, but on this, I had no choice.

I was sure that I had sprinkled just the right amount of bone meal and that I had positioned all the bulbs in the proper way, fat end up.

But, as spring tip-toed into my neighborhood and the days got a bit longer, I noticed that other lawns were dotted with yellow daffodils and that tiny green sprouts were emerging from my neighbors' flowerbeds.

But as much as I scoured the spots of the plantings, my investigations yielded nothing. Zero. Not even one tiny sprout.

Grr. I tossed around feelings of disappointment and failure, wondering how in the world I possibly managed to mess up planting dozens of bulbs. I figured that even if I somehow planted them incorrectly, wrong side up, that somewhere along the line I would have messed-up my messing-up and ended up with a winner.

Then, one day~one happy, happy, day~my eyes landed on a speck of green poking through the ground. Hallelujah!

But, weeks later, although a bit taller, that little green speck was still the only one.

Really? Seriously? For real? I thought. And as quick as they came, those feelings of success were replaced by my feeling as if I need some type of gardening counseling or tutoring.

Shame, oh the shame.

Apparently, good things take time. One morning, as I looked out the window, my eyes were treated to dozens of little shoots, poking through the crunchy dirt. Within days, they were reaching to the sun. And a few days after that, little buds were trying to push open and sing towards Mr. Golden.

Pride and relief washed over me. Whew. That was a close one. I'm happy to report that the lawn looks lovely with its newest additions, and I'm thrilled that I didn't bomb my first try at bulb planting.

Earth Day

"Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect."

~Chief Seattle, 1855

A few days ago, while I was doing 10,000 things at once, I listened to a television program on MSNBC on the topic of Earth Day and "going green." While I won't go into details of all that I learned, I specifically remember one person saying: "The Earth isn't a thing. Earth is a living being."

For some reason, that notion really struck me. It made me want to be even more kind and gentle to this delicate land I am lucky enough to use and play on.

Therefore, in honor of Earth Day, I began germinating an avocado seed. Why not help oxygenate the air, right? I know. Genius idea! grin

If all goes well, in a few days this seed will crack open and a root will begin to emerge. Hopefully, in due time, I'll be able to move it, along with a few other avocado friends to an outdoor location on my patio. I need to create a few of these little plants in order to produce any of the fruits~ good ol' pollination and such.

So stay tuned to track the progress of my new avocado family. And, don't forget to do your part, too. Take some time to do something nice for this amazing planet!

Seconds, Please.

"We don't need a melting pot in this country, folks. We need a salad bowl. In a salad bowl, you put in the different things. You want the vegetables - the lettuce, the cucumbers, the onions, the green peppers - to maintain their identity. You appreciate differences."
~Jane Elliot Reed

I'm in love with this salad. Me and 'Cucumber-Tomato-Avocado Salad' are True Love Forever. Like, for real.

The avocado and feta definitely upped the ante. I could hardly wait to eat lunch today.

Don't you love days like that, or am I the only one?

Having that yummy lunch to look forward to...well, it totally changes everything.

Signs

"Don't wish it were easier. Wish you were better."

~ Unknown

For about a week I pondered a major decision; a decision I didn't want to make. It was one of those times when I wished someone else would have made it for me, taken the pressure off, and been left holding the bag of blame when things went wrong.

But alas, those tough decisions, those ones that pull at the heart and mind and soul, are usually shouldered by the individual. They're the ones that stimulate personal growth and test character.

Sometimes though, I'm not much in the mood for a character test. Or a lesson in strength. I'd rather grow my herbs or knit a coffee sweater or read a book. Plus, I'm kinda getting into something new, too. And, I'd really like some time to dabble in that as well, ya know?

So, I've been conflicted. It's nothing major, in the scheme of things. It's probably nothing at all to most people- complete pettiness, really. But I really want to get Life right. I don't want those silly regrets or those 'what ifs' hanging around.

As a way of helping me figure things out, I rely on signs. Silly, I know, but that's what I do. I look for them and they guide me, most often-times, in the right direction. But this "sign-finding"-- it takes patience and time. Just last week, however, I saw my sign. I received my answer. And although it wasn't the answer I really wanted, it's the right answer. The correct one. The harder of my two options.

I'm rather baffled at how the "wrong" answer is actually the "right" one. But, it is. I feel very confident and at peace about it. I am content once again.

And the Wheels, They are a Turnin'

"The mountains that make up the Laurel Highlands are home to some of the most pristine hiking and biking trails in all of Pennsylvania."

Yesterday marked the first of many bike rides. It was practically a kick-off to summer.

Grin. Double Grin.

Being on the trail, with my favorite people, on our nifty two-wheeled crafts was simply wonderful. I can't wait for school to let out and to spend my every day on that old railroad path.

It's my new hangout.

Plus, it's quite possible that our little group located the best hummus and sweet potater fries on God's Green Earth.

Nature. Flowers. Wild Chives. Bikes. Breezes.

Conversation. Laughs. Memories

Potted Plants. Puppy Shakers. Delish Food.

Oh those wheels, they are a turnin'.

Looking Up

"God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages."

~Jacques Deval

I've returned from a lengthy run where I enjoyed listening to the pounding of my feet and the swooshing of my pony-tail. I turned off the tunes and lost myself in the steady mantra of breathing.

The rain gently danced on my cheeks, providing the cooling solace my body needed to push on. The entire experience proved overly cathartic, giving me time to think and try out new ideas.

My muscles burn. I probably ran up one too many hills. My feet are a bit sore. It's good though-- I'll rest well. Between the tired muscles and the cool, damp breeze blowing through the house, it's a recipe for good, good sleeping.

Crickets sing outside and their songs carry through, serenading me as I type while a tiny fur person dozes on my feet. It's Heaven, really. I love nights like this.

Great news came today. So happy and blessed.

A Letter to Myself

Dear Me,

Forever, you've spoken of balance and doing that which you truly enjoy. What happened to that? Why did you let it go? Why did you replace your perfectly wonderful life with things that hold no true value? You know better. Is it that urge to accomplish? Perhaps it's those insanely high personal standards? Pish-Posh. Time to reclaim control. It's time to kick the rest to the curb.

You're holding back, though. You have this urge to not quit. You feel like to give in will be to let Life win. And, remember how hard you fought for that? Remember when you just wanted another chance? Yea. You do.

But then you contemplate 'winning' and you question your definition. Perhaps the meaning changes? Maybe winning isn't the same now as when you were 20? You understand that life is short and valuable and that each day counts. You weigh every option and probably think about it too deeply. But you care. You really do. You want to be personally fulfilled, free of regrets.

And then you realize you were a better person, a person with more time for others; a girl who had the time to dream and create and get lost in the stars. And you wonder if that is what 'winning' actually is.

You've had these feelings before. Remember when you drove 6 hours to a job interview, called and canceled, turned around and drove home. You knew. You just knew.

You followed your heart. You've made big decisions before. Life changing ones. And they were not easy.

But you did it. You did the hard stuff. You made some tough calls.

And you were better for it.

Much, much better.

Follow your heart.