A Letter to Myself

Dear Me,

Forever, you've spoken of balance and doing that which you truly enjoy. What happened to that? Why did you let it go? Why did you replace your perfectly wonderful life with things that hold no true value? You know better. Is it that urge to accomplish? Perhaps it's those insanely high personal standards? Pish-Posh. Time to reclaim control. It's time to kick the rest to the curb.

You're holding back, though. You have this urge to not quit. You feel like to give in will be to let Life win. And, remember how hard you fought for that? Remember when you just wanted another chance? Yea. You do.

But then you contemplate 'winning' and you question your definition. Perhaps the meaning changes? Maybe winning isn't the same now as when you were 20? You understand that life is short and valuable and that each day counts. You weigh every option and probably think about it too deeply. But you care. You really do. You want to be personally fulfilled, free of regrets.

And then you realize you were a better person, a person with more time for others; a girl who had the time to dream and create and get lost in the stars. And you wonder if that is what 'winning' actually is.

You've had these feelings before. Remember when you drove 6 hours to a job interview, called and canceled, turned around and drove home. You knew. You just knew.

You followed your heart. You've made big decisions before. Life changing ones. And they were not easy.

But you did it. You did the hard stuff. You made some tough calls.

And you were better for it.

Much, much better.

Follow your heart.