A Secret Spot

"So you see, imagination needs moodling - long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling and puttering."

~Brenda Ueland

I'd like to climb this tree, but first I'd pack a knapsack. Then I'd begin my careful climb. I 'd perch myself on a sturdy branch, lean against the nubby trunk, and unpack my stash of treasures.

I'd unfold my quilt, drape it over a branch, and take out my book. I'd have a grand view of the neighborhood and a secret hiding place, all to myself.

From high up in the air, my feet would dangle. Or, I'd stretch them out in front of me. I'd find that perfectly comfortable position and silently watch the squirrels scurry from tree to tree. I'd wonder about their winter preparations.

Ultimately, my imagination would get the best of me. I'd find myself drawn into the delicate world of birds and squirrels and acorns and chipmunks. I'd watch them and wonder and make up little stories in my head.

Oh, to have a house in the trees.

Oowwwlll...

"Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble."

~ William Shakespeare, from Macbeth

The lamppost just clicked on, delicately lighting the path to our house. What a perfectly snug evening. Munchkin has perched herself upon the arm of the couch and gently chews her paw, my coffee pot hisses, and I'm sitting in complete calm and quiet. This is the life I love.

All I can hear are the sounds of cars rushing by, leaving sprays of water in their wake. Occasionally, the sound of a horn echoes in the distance, or I notice the firing up of the heater as it practices for its winter marathon.

I sip my java and gaze around, taking in the tender glow of flickering candles. How marvelously cozy it feels. I think I'll reach for my handmade afghan and cover my chilly toes. I'll be needing those fuzzy socks sooner rather than later.

My eyes fall upon one of my favorite childhood stories-- a classic bedtime read.

Popcorn
By Frank Asch

Looking at it makes me hope that all the mamas and papas take time to read to their little ones. happy sigh

And I realize, that even from a young age, I expressed possessive tendencies.

I also come to understand that I found it necessary to catalogue my books in my inaginative, personal library. It seems as if this particualr book only got checked out once.

I smile.

Oh gosh. I love that book.

Reliving Memories

"Just before the death of flowers,

And before they are buried in snow,

There comes a festival season

When nature is all aglow."

~Author Unknown

I remember the strangest stuff. Seriously.

Sometimes, I actually amaze myself with the intricate details I can recall from my early life. I'm talking small, tiny, minuscule details...and I can recall them with the utmost clarity. My mama thinks it's almost spooky, and in a way, I tend to agree with her.

Anyway, recently I've been having this nagging memory from when I was a small, small child of perhaps 3 or 4 years old. I would vividly remember (almost relive) this festival we would attend with my grandfather. I remember eating in a large gymnasium type of place and having pancakes with lots of syrup.

So, in a moment of nostalgia, I was filling my parents in on my recent revelation. And, much to my delight, they confirmed my memory. Indeed we did attend such a festival, as it was a Kaufman Family tradition.

You see, every year the Ohiopyle Fire Department holds a fundraiser where it sells buckwheat cakes and sausage and potatoes and apple cider, served family style, of course. My dad attended this lovely festival as a wee-boy and when I was born, we would go with my grandfather.

I knew it. I knew I was not dreaming this stuff up.

So, if you're thinking that we went back to this sweet little festival, you're absolutely right. Last weekend, we all packed into the car and headed to Ohiopyle. Oh my- those buckwheat cakes were absolutely delicious. Not to mention, I had a ton of fun reliving my childhood memories.

And ya know what? My memories were surprisingly accurate. Other than myself, very few things had changed. I grew. I aged a few decades. My husband came with me. But the town? The event? The building? Nada. No change at all.

What a fun, delicious, and memorable evening.

mmmm....

We Get One

"What distinguishes those of us at the starting line from those of us on the couch is that we learn through running to take what the days give us, what our body will allow us, and what our will can tolerate."

~ John Binghan

Today marks an important day for me. Today, not one single minute went by that I wasn't thankful or happy or overcome with serene calm.

I'm always amazed how the most ordinary days can hold so much significance. I looked around today and observed so many people in the throes of activity: work, conversation, and basic functions. Had they no idea? Were they totally unaware?

Today, seventeen years ago, I got a second chance.

Seventeen years ago, I lay in the Intensive Care Unit at Children's Hospital hooked to a heart-lung machine and sporting a fresh, six-inch incision down the front of my chest. I lay there unconscious, unresponsive, and unaware. Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, I rose from my slumber only to be greeted by painful breathing, excessively chapped lips, and a most disturbing feeling of nausea. Try vomiting with a freshly split sternum and spread ribs. It's not high up on my list of enjoyable adventures.

But, I overcame. I made it.

Five days later I was home, recovering well, and soaking up my new, prosthetic heart valve.

Therefore, the city of Pittsburgh holds a special place in my heart. It always will. It's a spiritual place for me.

You see, I remember looking out the window of my Children's Hospital room and watching people walk and run and hang out on Forbes Avenue. I enjoyed (eye roll) daily 30 minute wheelchair outings, where I envied the people who ambled up and down the streets. Me? I enjoyed months of highly restricted bed rest. Well, bed rest and 30 minutes of wheelchair time each day. Swell. Just swell.

But, Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh healed me. The doctors worked their magic and made me healthy.

Then, seven years later, I attended college in Pittsburgh. Those four years go down as some of the best in my entire life. Not only that, but I was given the ability and tools to do what I love most-- work with children. Teach them. Learn with them.

Duquesne University taught me. The University gave me my life's work.

As you can see, between healing me and teaching me, Pittsburgh holds a most special place in my heart. Last year, after I ran the Pittsburgh half-marathon, I knew I wanted more. With each tired step, I thought of how I needed to conquer that city, yet at the same time "thank" it. I knew I had to make the next leap and climb the bigger mountain.

So, today, on the seventeenth anniversary of my open heart surgery, I signed up to run the Pittsburgh Marathon,all 26.2 miles.

We only get one spin on the merry-go-round of life.

One.

That's all.

Make it a most amazing spin.

Big, Long, Happy Sigh

"Listen! the wind is rising, and the air is wild with leaves,

We have had our summer evenings,

now for October eves!"

~ Humbert Wolfe

October.

October, my most favorite month, how I love you.
How I welcome your short days and cold, clear nights.
And find delight in your frosty mornings.
Oh October, I'm so glad you're here.

Planning Ahead

"Observe always that everything is the result of change, and get used to thinking that there is nothing Nature loves so well as to change existing forms and make new ones of them."
- Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome (121-180 AD)

I've always had a deep love affair with my day planner. I'm into it. I enjoy recording my day to day events or appointments or little goings on. I like looking ahead, yet I also enjoy sitting with old agendas and reliving the days. Each year I carefully choose a special planner that will record my life in 2 x 2 squares, and amazingly enough, I still have them all.

Now you see, all that planning comes with a drawback. I can become seriously attached to getting things accomplished. Take today, for instance.

I've known since last year (when I failed miserably) that I wanted to plant bulbs. I previously had visions of brightly colored daffodils, crocuses, hyacinth, and anemone dotting the lawn at 403.

Well, that didn't happen. Why? Probably because I didn't write it down.

Knowing that I must adhere to the written word, I looked at my schedule on Sunday night and decided that today, Wednesday, September 29, would be the day for bulb planting. I grabbed my purple pen, and put ink to paper. And just like that, my plan became official. Whew.

After a long day with the 6th graders, I jumped in Jaxie and high-tailed it to the greenhouse. I filled my cart with the necessary ingredients, got myself home, and spent the next few hours digging and digging and digging. I also sprinkled bone meal and minced soil and intricately placed hundreds of garlic-y looking little bulbs.

No one ever tells you these things, so allow me: digging six inch deep holes is no joke. As a matter of fact, it ranks right up there with a solid cardio workout. Blast! Like working all day wasn't enough. Did I really need to throw in a full 2.5 hours of manual labor?

By the time I finished my planting the sun had long since retreated to its peaceful nighttime bungalow. I captured the beautiful sunset and then finished the last of my planing with the helpful illumination of a flashlight.

Alas, my job is done. I'm thankful for my day planner and the commitment it brings me.

Now I'll just sit back and wait for spring. *fingers crossed*

A Legacy Blooms

"No matter what you've done for yourself or for humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?"

~ Lee Iacocca

Shady, overcast days like today provide a quiet calm for a time of remembrance. My great aunt, "Aunt Louise" had her gentle spirit remembered today. Aunt Louise and Uncle John, God rest their souls, were my dad's aunt and uncle. My dad grew up down the street from them, and I have fond memories of visiting these sweet, sweet individuals.

My mama has often talked about how many of the flowers in her gardens came from the homes of dear friends and relatives. Sweet peas from Mamoo, this from Billy, that from so and so, and sedum from Aunt Louise.

How nostalgic, I've always thought.

Recently, my mother told me of how when she and my dad were first married, they would often arrive home from work to find a homemade pie or a basket of rolls or a pan of sweets from Aunt Louise. One day, they came home to a clump of sedum wrapped in damp newspapers.

Isn't that adorable? It really makes my heart melt.

Today, my little fur-face and I took some of that same sedum and planted it in our garden.

We also planted two big bunches of tic seed from my mama. I've always loved the light and feathery greenery, topped so delicately with tiny yellow flowers.

In a world of hustle and bustle, and at a time when people barely have a moment to greet each other with a friendly and genuine "hello," I find it so charming to think of how my Aunt Louise and Uncle John took the time to make my parents feel special.

I'll always think of them and their loving legacy when I see my purple sedum growing and flourishing and providing my garden with a beautiful splash of color.

Aunt Louise, your legacy blooms and your gentle, sincere spirit is forever remembered.

Have a Happy Almost-Fall Weekend

"Care less for your harvest than for how it is shared and your life will have meaning and your heart will have peace."

~Kent Nerburn

What a beautiful day. The perfect dessert to a most lovely sleep. I simply love waking up to the clear blue skies, chilly mornings, and steaming mugs of creamy coffee.

Today I want to bake. And make soup. And harvest overflowing baskets of veggies from a garden that I don't really have. I can, however, make the soup and bake though, so I'll concentrate on that.

The weekend has graced us with her presence, my friends. Let us savor it.

Change of Plans

"Think of entrainment as being "in sync." When your head and heart, thoughts and feelings, are working harmoniously together, you have more clarity and inner balance–and you feel better."
~IMC

In so many ways this has been a most wonderful week. On the other hand, it's been quite difficult. I've had a few decent cries on the way to work, and perhaps a sniffle or two on the way home. I won't dwell on that now, though. You're not here to read of my sadness, and at the moment, I'm not quite ready to share it. So there. We're even.

But, in an attempt to treat myself for getting through a most emotional week, I decided I'd ride to a favorite little knitting store of mine and attend "Knit Night." All week I looked forward to this evening. Just thinking about it made me calm and helped me focus and look ahead.

Today was to be the day. Today was to be my little reward, my treat.

Guess what didn't happen? Take a wild swing at the event that got canceled.

Knit Night.

Bummed. Disappointed. Angry. Those words accurately summarize the emotions I experienced. But, like any true champion, I pressed on. I made myself don the smile and the half-hearted "no problem" attitude and I went about my night.

Starbucks and candy corn twinkle lights and time with CT and the finishing of a knitting project occupied my evening. It wasn't quite the night of learning a new knitting technique that I had previously envisioned, but it worked. I didn't get to surround myself with nice people who shared a common interest. Heck, I didn't even talk to a soul.

But, I made it to Thursday night. And, amazingly enough, I found my peace- for now, anyway.

Slow Down, Life.

"How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever."

~David Norris

I'm telling you, in complete honesty, that my plate is full. Full of good, good stuff, that is. How then, is it that I'm never really tired for my bed? How is it that I crave longer days to learn and make and do and play? What an interesting dilemma.

I've tried to narrow it down. I promised myself that I would no longer dabble in a little of this and a little of that. I said that I'd choose a few things and really do them well. I promised to devote my time and energies and love to the chosen few.

So, I'm sorry to admit this, but the narrowing down really didn't work. I didn't add any new interests or hobbies, but I dove really deep into those chosen few and now I'm engulfed by creative energies.

Knitting, blogging, running, reading: You have become my most favorite friends. We have some amazing times together, don't we? If I could just sneak in a few extra hours each day...then, well maybe then, I'd be making progress.

I need more time. Or, life could slow down.

However, the realist in me sees neither happening. Oh well. I'll just continue to jam pack my days and live them to the fullest. Is there any other choice?

I didn't think so. grin

Pink Cake Day

"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."

~Chili Davis

I know what you're thinking.

You're counting the candles on my pretty cake and finding yourself highly impressed by the writing skills and vivid vocabulary of a seven year old.

I'm all about playing make-believe, so seven years old it is.

On September 7th I aged another year, added another tally mark, and became more valuable in the world of antiques. Yet however old I seem to get, my mama always makes me a pretty pink cake. Every year I look forward to that. So simple and delicious.

This year my birthday brought an abundance of happiness. I was treated to a bike ride, yummy food at my favorite restaurant, time with my family, fun gifts, morning coffee by my best pal, chocolate chip cookies from the music teacher, singing by the kids, cards in the mail, and lots of love.

And inside these brown paper packages, which happen to be my very favorite type of wrapping, a Nook was hiding. Yes, a Nook. My very own electronic book. Every nerds' dream come true.

Many thanks to all of you who made me feel so very cared for and loved on my special day. I'm truly blessed, in many, many ways.

Good Sleepin' Weather

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns."

~George Eliot

Right now my coffee pot gurgles it's grand finale. Soon I will move from my comfy spot and pour myself a hearty cup of warm goodness. My biggest debate is that of the creamer to use: flavored hazelnut or classic and original. I'll ponder that.

I just returned from the most relaxing shower. There's something about scalding hot water, steam, and vanilla soap to soothe the soul. I must have stood there for thirty peaceful minutes, allowing the hot water to lull me into a serene calm, a place of reflection, a quiet gratitude.

I thought of the last two weeks and my return to my classroom. I'll be honest, saying good-bye to summer 2010 was very difficult for me. Other than 2005, this summer went down as the best one of my entire life. I enjoyed every second. Not a moment was wasted. I knit, planted, biked and played. I read, blogged, photographed, and laughed. I ate good food, skipped down the street, indulged in lunches with friends, and had coffee with my mama. I shopped, vacationed, napped, and ran. Oh the fun, fun days of summer.

But, alas, I'm back to my job and back into a routine. It's good, though. Really. I suppose we wouldn't savor those blissful times, or realize quite how wonderful they were, if we didn't also see the other side of the equation, right? Balance. There must be balance.

However, as much as I love summer vacation, I'd much rather have off August, September, and October. These, you see, are my most favorite. I can only imagine the adventures and fun and good times I'd have. Summer Vacation multiplied by ten... I can't hardly stand the thought.

The evenings in early autumn relax me, yet at the same time, they stir in me a desire to savor every minute, to drink in the beauty, to inhale the aromas. I want nothing more than to appreciate each second, to capture the essence of nature's gradual change, and to burn the ambiance into my mind....forever.

Perhaps I love autumn for the way it reminds me of childhood. The neighborhood kids would shovel away their early dinners and dash outside to ride bikes and play a quick round of hide-and-seek before being called away for baths, "mid-night snacks", and bedtime stories. The bathwater was always green... I'll never forget that. Shoes- who needed them?

Maybe it's the way the sun sets in the sky or the way the crickets and locusts sing their dusk-time songs, or perhaps it's the ever present memories of book-bag packing and peanut butter sandwich making that take my soul to a happy place.

These days are good, my friends. They are full of the good stuff of life.

Give. Me. a. Spoon.

"Everything you can imagine is real. "

~Picasso

Today's Special:

Whippy Dream Frosting

Stop over at The Yarn Bakery for a yummy yarn treat.

Sunday Mornings

"The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest."

~Thomas More

Yesterday I savored every single mili-second of my last day of summer vacation. The sun danced upon the umbrella table and I was surrounded by soft yarns, pretty flowers, and my little family. It was quite wonderful.

Little Peep, however, displayed her dismay at my returning to work. I don't know who is going to miss our summer days more; me or her?

Best Presents

"To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children, to earn the approbation of honest critics; to appreciate beauty; to give of one's self, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived--that is to have succeeded."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Miss Brittany,

Remember how we talked about our favorite flowers and realized that we both loved Morning Glories? Do you remember that in late May you painted this lovely flowerpot for me and filled it with dirt and seeds?

You told me that you planted them every year, and I told you the story of how my Mama always planted them when I was little. I said that she would wake me up extra early because they only bloomed in the morning. You smiled.

I'm happy to report that your little seeds have taken off! As a matter of fact, they have grown and grown and are now beautiful vines and bursting buds.

My little herb garden is busy making friends with the morning glories. I like to think that they have little chats and whisper secrets to each other. You know, just like you and the other kiddos do.

It cracks me up when I look at how the tiny vines are wrapping themselves around the parsley.

Or, when I see a new bud ready to interrupt the quiet calm of my dill plants.

Hopefully, they are all getting along and being kind to each other.

Before long, they may overtake my house! Already they are tap-tap-tapping on my window panes!

So, my dear Brittany, thank you. Thank you a million times over. I love my special flower pot and the beautiful flowers that continue to bloom and remind me of you.

Love,

Mrs. W

Pursuit

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."
~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Last year I read the book Eat, Pray, Love. In my opinion, the book (and movie) presented a beautiful depiction of one woman's pursuit of happiness. Isn't that what we all want~ to be sincerely happy and emotionally fulfilled?

Lately I've heard many people comment and critique the movie, and regardless of their opinions, I happen to admire Liz's internal struggle. Perhaps, it is because I also battle the same demon.

It's probably no big secret that I'm a pretty independent person. I enjoy being alone and I much prefer to work through my issues on my own. I like that about myself. I like the fact that I can "be alright" without anyone else helping me out. It gives me a sense of calm.

On the other hand, I openly acknowledge the need to lean on others. I'm not too swell at it, though. Actually I earned a failing grade in Share Your Feelings 101. I'm honestly trying to improve, but I think I might need some major accommodations in this department. Thankfully, Chad-o is amazing. He understands me and gently pries things out of me. He allows me to work though things at my own pace. I really appreciate that about him. He's tops.

However, in the book/movie, I was constantly identifying with Liz and her desire for independence, yet her longing to be loved. Quite the harsh battle, if you ask me.

Luckily, I hit it big. Jackpot, actually.

xo